Warehouse Roulette - Swimming in a Warm Ocean

I've been bugged by Jenn and others to write posts on the blog for a long time, but I didn't want to have to figure out what to write about while staying somewhat on topic. So the obvious solution was to write about random things in the warehouse. Warehouse roulette! To make it fun and very random, I put all of the warehouse locations in a box, mixed it up and drew a location. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Does anyone still read the first paragraph? 

So for this week’s blog, the marketing department approached me with the idea of slanting my post towards Mothers’ Day since Mothers’ Day is around the corner. I thought, eh, maybe. Then Jenn suggested I write the whole blog post about Mothers’ Day. If I do that, it’s like emptying the chambers before playing roulette and makes it too predictable. {queue patriotic music} No, friends, I’m going to stand up for the integrity of Warehouse Roulette. Warehouse Roulette is silly, crazy, unpredictable. Warehouse Roulette could be a stapler or a Diva Cup! Warehouse Roulette makes me nervous every time I draw a piece of paper. Warehouse Roulette is the Swiss Cheese of drinking glasses. Warehouse Roulette makes bamboo smile. Warehouse Roulette has been random, is random and always will be random!! {queue fireworks} Now let’s draw the next number!!! Charge!!!!

Aaaaand.... oh baby! This week does not disappoint! The lucky location I drew this week is AAR6. It’s another location where things come and go and sometimes put underwear in the drawer. But right now, it has something really exciting for Mothers’ Day - Brolly Sheets Waterproof Sheet Protectors! Nothing says I love you like a waterproof bed sheet that looks like picnic table cloth. After all, who’s never fantasized about peeing on a picnic table, from the top of a fire tower, down wind, in the winter? No, wait, that would be for Fathers’ Day. This is (almost) Mothers’ Day. It’s pink! Nothing to see-here-or-wonder-about bright pink! They also come in white, blue and red, but I picked pink to throw marketing a bone with the whole Mothers’ Day thing.

Brolly Sheets is a New Zealand company, so I’m sure some of the design and wording is a little off compared to Americanese. It’s still amusing tho. For instance, one of the selling points is that it “absorbs 2 liters of liquid over an 8 hour period”. I understand what they are trying to say, and they probably have to qualify the time required to reach saturation, but, two liters over eight hours? That implies long term fluid engagement. Two liters is a lot of liquid. Ever empty a full soda bottle? You have to have an enormous bladder or a really wild party to pee two liters. It uses a cotton top layer to absorb the liquid and, as we learned with the Flip Potty Trainer, cotton stays wet and isn’t comfortable to sit in. These sheet protectors have a top layer of cotton to absorb the liquid, so if your kiddo, um, leaks during the night, they and the bed cover will be soaking wet. If they sleep through the initial accident and have another, um, release of the floods gates, without waking up, please share your secrets for sleeping. I wake up if I drool too much on my pillow because it gets all wet and clammy. If I had an accident, I would be dreaming of swimming in a warm ocean, then be jolted awake by how real it was. So real, I would swear I was actually sitting in the warm water... ack! I am swimming in warm water!  And I am not in the ocean!

Looking around the rest of the packaging like I always do, I noticed the bed sizing is odd in New Zealand. While we Americans have the most arcane, makes-no-sense system of weights and measures, our bed sizes do make some sense: twin, full, queen, king, California King (because, you know, exactly). Apparently in New Zealand it is: small single, single, king single, small double, queen. 

I couldn’t write this post without mentioning the best warning on the packaging: “Do not use with an electric blanket”. When I read that, I see visions of electric blankets burninating the waterproof sheet protectors, but, at least here in Americanland, electric blankets don’t get that hot. They just get slightly annoyed.

The Brolly Sheets Waterproof Sheet Protector is made with a cotton top layer, a polyester/rayon filling and a layer of PUL (PolyUrethane Laminate, like our diapers). I didn’t open the packaging to feel how soft the cotton top layer is because I would never get it back into the packaging folded up all nice and pretty. Ever try refolding napkins after your toddler turns your kitchen into an Arctic snowscape? The cat turns into a polar bear and you go on an expedition to find the elusive linoleumus flatus hiding under the snow. Peeking around the corner, you catch a glimmer of silver. His secret treasure of silver! Arrrrr! Thar be treasure in the snow!    

If you have kids, you should have a waterproof sheet protector like the Brolly Sheets sheet protector. The soft PUL laminate doesn’t crinkle, make noise or feel like your sleeping on a shower curtain, so the kids won’t complain about sleeping on it. The design makes it easy to put on and take off the bed when you’re bleary eyed and looking for new sheets in the sock drawer in the middle of the night after munchkin had an oops. It’s also good to have a sheet protector that’s easy to take off when the kids are sick with a stomach bug. There is nothing worse than puke in a bed, especially from an older kiddo. The shopvac only works so well getting the nasty out of the mattress and you only make that mistake once. 

As I sit here proof reading, I just realized Mothers’ Day isn’t next Sunday, it’s the following Sunday. That means I have to Mothers-Day’ize my blog post next week too. Whoops.

-- Jimmy

"Keep smiling, it makes everyone wonder what you're up to."

copyright 2012 Cotton Babies, Inc - Swimming in a Warm Ocean